When everything fits perfectly and looks amazing ...
… and that’s exactly the problem!
Who hasn’t been there: ordering way too much just to try everything on, hitting “buy” a little too quickly, and suddenly everything’s at home, looking fabulous. And that’s when the real drama begins …
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I think my boyfriend, Lukas, had a slightly different idea of how Sunday brunch with my friend Sina would go. On the culinary front, his wishes were fully met: fresh rolls from Sofi Bakery, two cups of coffee, and a lavish spread of toppings. Even our son, at the age of one and a half and utterly unintelligible most of the time, was on board. He happily sat in his high chair for an hour, playing the picture of peace, and then quietly read his books within sight. It could have been the perfect morning.
Could have.
That was until Sina and I inevitably turned to our favorite topic (aside from dating and men): fashion. Specifically, our most recent purchases—or, more accurately, the mental drama that accompanies making the right buying decisions.
Please tell me you have these internal debates too. The kind of debates where people who couldn’t care less about fashion end up looking like a giant question mark. The kind of debates where your bf just shakes his head and walks out of the room.
The shearling showdown
I have a thing for coats. And honestly, I think a coat obsession deserves a legitimate place among fashion fixations, right up there with shoes and bags. Okay, maybe jeans too. Because in winter, the coat-shoe-bag combo makes up roughly 99% of an outfit. Who’s even noticing your pants? Exactly.
Now, in addition to my ongoing (and tragically unsuccessful) hunt for new winter boots—read more about that saga here—I had my eye on a new winter jacket. It had to be warm, effortlessly cool, and brown. Enter: a shearling coat from Arket that checked every single box. I was smitten. And so began a fashion odyssey I’m sure many of you will find painfully familiar.
At just shy of €1,000, the shearling coat from Arket (which, let’s be honest, is a fair price for real shearling) was not exactly in the impulse buy category. I convinced myself it was definitely not in the budget this month, but I still carefully placed it on my wish list—the sacred space where I park everything I need to mull over or can’t afford outright.
Every day, I visited that coat online. Multiple times a day, I thought about it. I stared longingly at my coat rack, imagining the gaping void it apparently had. A yawning emptiness that only a brown shearling coat could fill—or so I convinced myself.
One day, it hit me: this coat was living rent-free in my head. It was perfect. With a pounding heart and the confidence of someone about to treat themselves, I headed to the Arket online store to seal the deal.
SOLD OUT.
Okay, okay, stay calm. Maybe they’ll restock? No restock planned. Oh no.
Irrevocably sold out. Well, now I need it more than ever!
And this is the moment where I reliably start making my own life a living hell. Instead of moving on and feeling relieved that I didn’t spend the money, the coat—stand-in here for every other item I’ve ever wanted that sold out before I could snag it (looking at you, Gucci boots)—suddenly transforms into something I cannot live without. Now that it’s unattainable, I want it more than ever.
Why is it like this? Is this the infamous Hermès waitlist psychology? Artificial scarcity? I think so. Funny enough, Hermès has zero effect on me. But everywhere else? Apparently, I’m a total sucker.
Weeks passed, during which I obsessively checked the coat’s stock status multiple times a day. I visited every Arket store in Berlin. I scoured Vinted, hoping someone had a change of heart and decided to let theirs go. Nothing.
Even my mom, desperate to find me a great Christmas gift, begged me to come up with an alternative. And so there I was, suddenly scrolling through Vestiaire Collective, hunting for another (somewhat affordable) shearling coat that could rival the one from Arket.
It didn’t take long to find my new object of desire: a Toteme shearling jacket in brown—the very same one I’d been admiring in black on my friend
the last winter. I negotiated it down to a very acceptable price, it passed quality control, and just like that, I became the proud new owner of a shearling jacket.
Happy ending? Well, sort of. Or maybe not.
Just let it be.
Because one evening, during yet another casual scroll through the Arket website (a habit I indulge in far too often while half-watching The Empress on Netflix), I could barely believe my eyes: there it was—the brown shearling coat. Back in stock. Only in my size.
After multiple failed attempts—times when the coat had landed in my cart only to vanish before I could check out—I was skeptical when the order confirmation actually came through. Yeah, I was honestly a little shocked that the money was actually about to leave my account. And somehow, a brown puffer jacket (also perpetually sold out) had snuck into my cart too. How on earth did that happen in the heat of the moment?!
"It’s just to look and compare," I told myself. "I just need to prove to myself that the Toteme jacket was the right choice."
Oh, how I wish I’d left it at that …
He loves me, he loves me not. I’m keeping everything. I’m sending it all back.
And now here I am. Sitting in front of a massive Arket box. A Toteme shearling coat I adore. An Arket shearling coat I adore. And a puffer jacket I adore.
Even as a kid, I struggled when my mom would ask me, “Do you want this toy or that toy? You have to choose. You can only have one.” Her voice still echoes in my head today. But I want everything, mum!!! Plus a healthy bank account. Why can’t we have it all, even as adults? Life is unfair and fashion isn’t exactly making it any easier...
Decisions, decisions …
You can believe me, I’ve already done all the calculations, sorted through my options (aka selling half of my closet), and mentally added up what I can do to keep both coats. But honestly, I don’t even want to be the kind of person who keeps both coats because I don’t want to own that much stuff. Plus, I’d rather save my money for an upcoming trip—and because I want to be decisive. But, well, I’m just not there yet. This newsletter is probably the best proof of that.
What would you do in my shoes? I’m so curious to hear your thoughts! And most importantly: am I the only one going through these shopping dramas?
After talking with my friend Sina about her new brown wool coat (that's a whole different, long story, where Sina was already confessing her fear of losing the coat before she even owned it), I’m starting to think I’m definitely not alone …
Here’s a little sneak peek of what’s coming your way in the next issue on Sunday:
This Sunday, we’re flipping the script from the last newsletter: practical winter trends, hallelujah! Finally, fashion that actually makes sense in winter—and looks great too!
I say keep Toteme: growing value but most importantly the collar sits perfectly.
Love the brown Toteme - so you!!